That Dream Again

So had that dream again. You know the one. It's where I suddenly realize that I have a math final and I haven't been to class in about six weeks. To add to the drama, I really need a passing grade or I won't graduate. I have the dream once or twice a year.

I think everyone has this dream in one form or another, but for me it's always a math test. I guess that shouldn't be surprising since calculus and I didn't get along very well in college. The first time I took Calculus I got a D, which was a shock to my ego. I suppose it would have been less embarrassing if I had skipped the last six weeks of the semester, but I didn't. I mostly went to class and sort of did the homework. I just wasn't as good at math as I thought I was and needed to work MUCH harder. Getting a D didn't sit well with me. I took that bad boy again, got a B+, declared victory over mathematics, and never set foot in a math classroom again.

I thought I had defeated math, but math is still out there lurking. Haunting my dreams. Waiting to get revenge.

The dream is always the same. It starts with the realization that I have this final coming up, but I never actually get to the final exam. I'm perpetually stuck in the anxiety-filled, oh-my-God-what-am-I-going-to-do phase. I always wake up before the final. Heck, I always wake up before really doing much of anything besides panicking and wondering how I managed to go six weeks without making it to class. (Maybe I'm a meth addict in my dreams? It would explain a lot.) Anyway, after waking up I remind myself that I'm not actually taking a math class (this can be surprisingly difficult) and that I've already graduated from college almost 20 years ago.

If I'm going to continue to have this dream, I'd like it to end better. Instead of me being all anxious and whiny, I'd like to go into a Rocky-like training montage, complete with a kick ass soundtrack. The dream would cut to scenes of me studying, me working problems, me doing flash cards, and culminate with me running up some long steps where I smash a calculator to smithereens when I reach the top. Then I'd take the final, win the approval of my math professor, and be carried out of the classroom in triumph on the shoulders of my fellow students. All while Eye of the Tiger plays in the background.

Now THAT would be a dream.

Stupid Dad Tricks

This year Nick really really really wanted a Nintendo DS for Christmas. For the uninitiated, the Nintendo DS is a handheld video game system.

For weeks, he's been telling me how much he wants one. Every time he started this conversation, I transitioned into Stupid Dad.

Nick: "I really want a Nintendo DS for Christmas."

Me: "A Nintendo what?"

Nick: "A Nintendo DS?"

Me: "DX?"

Nick: "No. DS."

Me: "A Sony DQ?"

Nick: " A NIN-TEN-DO D-S!"

Me: "I don't know what you're talking about."

Nick: "It's a handheld video game system."

Me: "They have those?"

Nick: "Sure. They have them at Target by the video games. They're in the second row near the bottom of the rack."

Me: "Did you say they have them at Rainbow?"

Nick: "No. TAR-GET."

Me: "And it's a Sony DX."

Nick: "Argh..."

This went on 2-5 times per day for at least three weeks. I kid you not.

On the afternoon of Christmas Eve, Grandma Johnson asked Nick what he wanted for Christmas. He explained about the Nintendo DS, but he explained that he was pretty sure he wouldn't get one because Allison and I didn't understand what they were and we didn't know how to get one for him.

When it came time to open presents, the third present Nick opened was, low and behold, a Nintendo DS. He was just floored. I thought the Stupid Dad act was completely transparent, but I guess he bought it hook, line, and sinker. (That probably doesn't say good things about me, but I'll choose to believe that I'm just a great actor.)

Nick loves the DS and he was very grateful. It feels nice to hit one out of the park once in a while.

Home Improvement

I completed a very significant home improvement project today. See this light fixture?

It is in a closet in our basement. Ever since we moved into the house eleven years ago it has been missing both screws that fastened it to the ceiling. It has just dangled from the wires all this time. How pathetic is that?

Occasionally I have told myself that I'm going to buy some screws and fix the stupid thing. Did I ever do it? No. Not until today, that is. At some point even a lazy procrastinator has taken all he can stand and must do something.

How long did this epic project take? Less than five minutes. I am officially the worst. The only thing that can be said in my defense is that at least I fixed it before it burned the house down or electrocuted someone.

I also replaced the doorbell that's been on the fritz for the past year or so. No more excuses for ignoring people at the front door.

I guess today was the day for fixing long-neglected problems. I kind of liked it. I'll have to do it again in another eleven years. Maybe.

___

Follow me on Twitter

Living in the Moment

When Nick and I were Cub Scout camp, I had the opportunity to observe two kinds of parents - those who participated as little as possible and those who threw themselves into the mix and had as much fun as the kids. (There was even one disagreeable fellow who went so far as too tear down every activity as being lame and not very fun. [Never mind that his son was having a great time with all of these "lame" activities.] Fortunately he was an extreme case.)

It was really interesting to see the contrast between these types. It was pretty clear who I wanted to hang out with - the guys who were having fun and getting dirty. So that's what I did and I had a great time. When it was over, some the other active dads and I were talking about how we wouldn't mind a few more days of this. The non-participants, on the other hand, couldn't wait to get home.

Don't get me wrong. It was great that these parents took time to bring their sons to camp. However, by holding back, camp became a job or a chore that had to be done. Instead of counting down the hours to departure time, they could have been out there having a great time themselves.

___

Follow me on Twitter

Swimming Test

Nick and I leave for Cub Scout Summer Camp on Friday. It should be a great weekend filled with tons of fun activities: swimming, boating, archery, BB guns, pony rides, campfires, skits, and flag ceremonies. Nick, like any red-blooded American boy, is most excited for the shooting activities. Yesterday he asked me if things "blew up" when you shot them with a BB gun. I had to break the bad news to him - no explosions, just tiny holes in a piece of paper. He took it pretty well, though I imagine a small piece of childhood died on hearing it.

The first activity of camp is the swimming test for both adults and kids. Now Nick isn't quite ready to pass any of the tests. Next year he should be able to pass the first level. My goal for this year is to pass the swimmer test.

Now I should probably include some background here, because passing the swimmer test is probably not a big deal for most normal people. Unfortunately I am not a normal person. The Scout swimming test was the bane of my scouting existence when I was a kid. Why? Because I just couldn't swim and I hated the water.

I was always uncomfortable in the water for some reason and I remember HATING swimming lessons. It might have helped if I hadn't been sent to a freezing outdoor pool at some ridiculously early hour for lessons. It also might have helped if the teachers were not graduates of the Wicked and Cruel Swimming Teachers Academy. What chance did I have? (OK - in the interest of fairness, the pool was probably not that cold, it probably wasn't that early in the morning, and the teachers were probably more patient with me than I deserved.) Worst of all, Mom and Dad didn't force me to stick with it.

Anyway, I've never swam well. As an adult I've developed enough technique to get by without drowning in hotel pools. I can swim on my back decently.

This upcoming swim test has motivated me to get my butt in the pool, swim decently, and pass the frakkin' test. I intended to start practicing for the test back in June, but I procrastinated. For the past week or ten days, though, I've been hitting the pool pretty frequently.

I've made some real progress with my front crawl. I still struggle with getting a comfortable breathing rhythm and I use my arms too much. However, I'm pretty close to the point where I think I can pass the test. I'm also liking the workout that I'm getting from swimming, so I'd like to make it part of my routine as a break from running. I still hate swimming, but for some reason I'm enjoying making myself go to the pool. (Apparently the difference between Kid Chris and Adult Chris is that Adult Chris is a masochist.)

On Friday evening I'm going to hit the pool and see if I can exorcise some childhood demons. Wish me luck.

___

Follow me on Twitter

Big Win for Allison

http://news.cnnbcvideo.com/?nid=7cu1gJSQR1hw3MH.Zyb7ZjEwMDQ5NzUx&referred_by=16085256-OqPybix&p=moveon

I Think I May Have To Try This

Since I have some time on my hands, I may need to try this...

Of course I will need to come up with a name and a costume.  Like the guys in the video, I think I will only patrol areas where crimes are unlikely to occur.  Plus I can dress Xander up as my sidekick.  He'd love it!

___
Follow me on Twitter

Random Cooking Post

Since becoming a stay-at-home Dad and professional lay-about, I've been slowly building up my cooking skills.  I'm not great, but I'm able to put together a variety of meals.  The kids even like some of them.  

I've really taken to broiling.  I'm too big of a wuss to stand outside and freeze at the grill, so I started broiling things.  At this point I'm much better at broiling a steak, for instance, than grilling it.  I've also learned how to marinade stuff.

None of this stuff is rocket science, but it's a big deal to me.  Just like sewing all the patches on Nick's Cub Scout uniform.  And my uniform, too, for that matter.  (I think I've said this before, but if the Army can use velcro to attach patches to their uniforms, why can't the Cub Scouts??)  

I'm headed for some sort of Walden or Little House on the Prairie self-sufficiency.  (They all lived didn't they?  I tuned out on LHOTP in about 1977.)

To go back to cooking - Mirk Bittman's book How to Cook Everything is awesome.  Highly recommended.

___
Follow me on Twitter

Bad Day

First off, it is insanely cold.  Second, in the course of picking up Xander from his morning program, I managed to lose my keys.  I have no idea where they went.  Maybe they were left inside, maybe they were dropped in a snow bank while I was carrying Xander's shoes, toys, and art projects.

Fortunately Allison was able to come and get us.  It was also fortunate that I was able to find the spare key at home without tearing the house apart.

Hopefully comeone will find the keys and turn them in.  Otherwise I'll pay attention to the suspect snow bank when spring comes.

One consolation is that I'm eating some awesome chicken noodle soup that I made from scratch yesterday. I've made some progress since my happy-to-fry-an-egg days.  :-)

___
Follow me on Twitter

Because Bacon is Good

http://www.holytaco.com/if-i-die-bacon-related-death-id-it-be-because

___
Follow me on Twitter

Wonderful Day

It was a wonderful winter day today.  Not too cold and with a nice batch of snow in the late afternoon.  The boys and I went sledding after school and had a great time.  I had purchased a new sled for them for Christmas, but I just couldn't wait that long to break it out.  Who's the bigger kid?

Nick is back to normal and Allison and I are cautiously optimistic that we will escape whatever malady struck them down.  I think if we make it through the night we are in the clear.  (Knock on wood.)

___

Follow me on Twitter

Sunday Update

It's been kind of a busy week.

Thursday I attended the district Cub Scout leader roundtable and learned about the multitude of awards acheivements available to Cub Scouts.  Wow!  There's even a bunch of stuff for leaders to earn, if a person is in to that sort of thing.

On Friday we had conferences for both of the boys.  Both are doing very well.  Xander is making lots of friends in his morning program.  Nick is doing well with his school work and is a positive leader in his classroom.  He's reading at the 4th grade level, which I thought was pretty cool.  I didn't tell the teacher that he's honing his reading skills on Calvin and Hobbs and Garfield.

Allison went out drinking Friday night, leaving me with the kids.

On Saturday we went to the Mall of America so Allison and Janet could buy shoes.  The boys got to spend some of their saved money, too.  I got nothing.

On Saturday night we went to a party hosted by some friends in the neighborhood.  The theme was Obamapalooza.  A bunch of Nick's friends were there, too, so a good time was had by all.

This morning after church we went to Janet's house for lunch (roast beef and mashed potatoes) and to watch the Vikings game.  A perfect Sunday.

That's our lives in a nutshell.  Now we're just getting ready for Monday.

___
Follow me on Twitter

Back to Normal

Ah... the election is over.  Well almost over.  They are recounting the MN senatorial contest between Coleman and Franken.  But I can live with that.  Yard signs are going down.  The phone calls have stopped.  We have achieved peace in our time.

___

Follow me on Twitter

Early Release Day

Today was early release day from school.  I don't remember these from when I was a kid.  I'm pretty sure we went to school five days a week for 40 straight weeks back then.  Kids these days have it easy...

Anyway, we hit the cub scout shop to buy a new neckerchief slide for Nick.  His previous one disappeared the last time he wore his uniform to school.  We've had a talk about respecting his uniform by trying not to destroy it.  We'll see how it goes.

After that we did more raking.  The kids actually helped with bagging.

We spent some time this afternoon visiting with our neighbor Mrs. Miller, who was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Mr. Miller passed away this spring from cancer.  They lived in their house on our block for 55 years.  Anyway, Mrs. Miller was out raking her leaves.  She doesn't have the energy she used to, but she's determined to live the way she wants for as long as she can.  That includes things like raking leaves.  Did I mention she's around 80?  It's very sad that she is sick, but she is an amazing lady.

___
Follow me on Twitter

Back At It

I'm going to try to get back at this.  Sorry for the long absence.  No good excuse for the lack of posts - just laziness.

___
Follow me on Twitter

Duck and Cover

I saw this on one the blogs I read regularly. This is the original 1950's duck and cover movie to teach children what to do in the case of an atomic bomb attack. Worth watching - it is a trip.

http://warhistorian.org/wordpress/?p=886

___
Follow me on Twitter

New Routine

We're getting into our new routine around here. It goes something like this...

7 am - Wake up, eat breakfast, get everyone ready for school or work.
8:45 am - Nick, Xander, and I leave for school. We're going to walk until it is ridiculously cold.
9 am - Drop off Xander at preschool and Nick at his school (the two are a half-block apart).
9:15 am -Get home and try to write for two hours
11:15 am - Walk back to pick up Xander. Play when we get home.
12 pm - Lunch for Xander and me (Allison usually joins us). Play after lunch.
1 pm - Xander naps, I do chores around the house and maybe write some more. We play when he wakes up.
3:20 pm - Xander and I leave to pick up Nick. (More walking!)
4:30 pm - Get home, make supper, kids play.
5:30 pm - Eat
7:30 pm - start baths/showers, read with the kids after this
8:30 pm - kids to bed

The one way trip to the school is about .7 miles according to Google maps. Three round trips is 4.2 miles, so I'm getting my walking in. (Xander usually rides in his stroller most of the way.)

I've been able to get a lot of writing in and most days I exceed my word count goals by quite a bit. One reason I haven't been posting much is that I'm kind of written out by the end of the day. I'm sure as I adjust to the new routine I'll find more to say.

It could also be that I don't have a whole lot of interesting stuff going on (blogging fodder?) as my routine indicates. The very fact that I'm writing about my routine probably speaks volumes about how little I have going on.

Still, it's a good, comfortable routine. The boys seem very happy and I am, too.

And, yes, I met my writing goal for today.
___
Follow me on Twitter

Football

Today was the football opener (Thursday doesn't count) and I watched exactly 0 minutes of football. Since this summer I've had a goal to watch less TV and I've pretty much gotten to the point that I forget we have a TV. I will watch the Vikings tomorrow night, though.

As I mentioned the other day, I'm not doing fantasy football this year for the first time in about 13 years. I just haven't cared the past few years and I've been trying to eliminate activities that I don't actually enjoy so I can focus on the stuff I do enjoy. Anyway, I drafted for a friend of mine who was out of town. I picked 5th and in the first round took Tom Brady, who went down in the first quarter today with what looks to be a pretty serious knee injury. It's nice to see that I still have the touch (aka kiss of death), even when I'm not really playing.

___
Follow me on Twitter

First Day Pictures

I finally have the first day of school pictures. Allison isn't that happy with how they turned out, but I think they are fine. She just has high standards.

Here's Nick posing in front of the house before we left for school. This was the best shot of the bunch; the rest had goofy expressions or even worse posture. In fairness to the kid, his backpack was full of all kinds of school supplies, including the very heavy 64-count Crayola box.



Here's Nick and I doing a little something we call 'kid on the ceiling.' Being a tall guy, I've always been able to lift the kids up so their backs are touching the ceiling in the kitchen. It started with 'baby on the ceiling', continued to 'toddler on the ceiling', and so on. So now we are up to 'first-grader on the ceiling'. In a month I need to do 'seven-year-old on the ceiling'.

It looks like torture, but I swear the kids really like it. Nick was talking about doing it for two days before the start of school. Anyone want to start a pool on how much longer I can do this? It's starting to get tough. I probably need to start lifting weights if I'm going to make it through the next couple of years. (Damn, there's that bald spot again. Allison needs to Photoshop these pictures before giving them to me.)

Random Thought of the Day

Did you ever wonder who invented parallel parking? I found myself thinking about this while walking the dog this evening. Someone had to be the first one to do it. It was probably shortly after the automobile was invented. (I seriously doubt anyone was parallel parking a horse and buggy.) Some guy was too lazy to park a few cars up and decided to try to fit his car into a much too small space. He figured head-first wouldn't work. He decided he could just back it in like so. Viola! Parallel parking was invented. Countless driver's tests were ruined in the process.

Follow up thought... How hard would it be to parallel park in England? Imagine: the steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car, you're driving down the wrong side of the road, and you have to parallel park. I would personally rather park nine miles away than even try it. I'll probably have bad dreams about it tonight. (When you don't have a job you have the luxury of stressing over unlikely possibilities.)

These are the kinds I think of while walking the dog.

P.S. I met my writing goal for today.

___
Follow me on Twitter

Writing Challenge - Day 4

I met my goal for today. In fact, I exceeded my goal.

Not much to write about. Still don't have the Nick pictures.

We checked out the preschool that Xander's going to attend for a couple hours each morning this school year. It seems nice and I think being around other kids more will be good for him. It's conveniently located about a block from Nick's school.

I dropped out of fantasy football this year, but last night I attended the annual draft for my old league to select players for someone who was out of town. It was good to see some old co-workers, but it was also a big drag because we were near the Target Center and there was a Rage Against The Machine concert last night. Lots of scruffy guys and lots of cops hanging around. Luckily I was out of there by 7:30 or so. There were around 200 arrests after the concert. Fun stuff.

I ended up dropping my stats class today. In part because it conflicted with Nick's soccer, in part because I want to focus on my writing, and in part because there's a large tree on our property that needs to be removed before it falls on something. Financially speaking, I decided I'd rather deal with just the tree rather than the tree plus tuition for the class I was no longer very excited about. It'll be there next semester if I want to take it then.

Gotta go. The boys are banging on the walls in their bedroom and making the pictures shake in the living room.

___
Follow me on Twitter